Breaking Dawn

So, there is absolutely no way that I can review this in an objective manner. I started reading the Twilight books before the first movie came out, and I was highly disgusted. Edward is a controlling, overbearing creep. It scares me that women and girls all over are so taken by Edward that they want a man just like him. Really? You think it’s ok for your man to meddle in your relationships with other men out of jealousy? You think it’s ok for him to tell you what to do and how to do it and who to hang out with and who to talk to and not talk to? You think its ok for him to spy on you all the time? Ick. Edward is emotionally abusive and emotional abuse is abuse even if it is not accompanied by physical abuse. I am going to spoil the movie for those who have not seen it, so if you don’t want to know this stuff before seeing the movie, then you’ve been warned.




Here is the entire movie. Bella and Edward are getting married. Bella is the most sullen, unhappy bride I’ve ever seen. She doesn’t want anything to do with the planning or the dress, and frankly, she doesn’t seem like she even wants to be in the wedding. So she gets dressed all sullen, and she walks down the aisle all sullen, and she says her vows all sullen, but then they kiss and the world falls away and it’s just the two of them entwined in all their love. Ew. During the rehearsal Edward tells Bella that he has a surprise for her and takes her to Jacob who is hiding creepily in some trees. Bella gives Jacob a hug and you can tell that she hasn’t let go of her feelings for him (OMG, why did you just agree to get married when you’re SOOOO young AND you don’t really know what you want AND you don’t really know who you want, AND you have to hide your husband’s true identity from all your friends and family!!!!) So then Edward takes Bella on their honeymoon to some remote island that his family owns. They have the most unhappy looking sex that is so violent that Edward shreds the pillows and breaks the headboard etc. and leaves bruises on Bella’s body. HE LEAVES BRUISES ON BELLA’S BODY…. And, the icing on that little cake is… BELLA BEGS FOR MORE. He feels bad and doesn’t want to hurt her but she pretty much begs and pleads for him to have more sex with her. Ok, let me just say, I get it that some people get freaky in bed. But remember, this movie is aimed for teenage girls. Then while they are still on their honeymoon, Bella feels weird and is like oh my period is a day late and then takes a test and finds that she’s pregnant. (omg, do these movie makers even know how the human body works?) So Edward takes Bella to his parent’s house where he HIDES her so that her family doesn’t know where she is or that she’s pregnant with his vampire spawn. She spends all of her pregnant time on the phone with her dad telling him that she’s in various different locations of the world and doesn’t know when she’ll be home. The baby grows and since it’s part vampire it feeds on all of Bella’s blood and breaks her ribs with it’s kicks. Bella turns into a walking heap of bones because the baby is so ravaging her body. Then the Cullens decide oh hey, the baby wants blood, and has Bella drink all this human blood. Ew. Then the baby starts to kill Bella and Edward has to chew it out of her womb and Bella dies to Edward turns her into a vampire. The icing on the cake is the baby’s hideous name: Renesme. (a hybrid of their mom’s names, Rene and Esme). I’m not even grading this movie because it’s too ridiculous.

Big Miracle (100th post!)

Directed by Ken Kwapis

2012

Viewed February 2012

Adam Carlson is a reporter from Anchorage, Alaska who is covering some stories in a small Alaskan town for a few weeks. On one of his last nights there, Adam discovers three California grey whales trapped in the ice. Adam quickly tapes a short segment on the whales and then news reaches his Greenpeace volunteer ex girlfriend who immediately starts to rally for the whales. The news ends up going national and eventually international as everyone gets involved to help free these whales before the hole in the ice freezes over and they drown. When I first saw the preview for this movie, I was not sold, it just looked cheesy and boring. I was pleasantly surprised though and it turned out to be a really good, uplifting movie. It's based on a true story so I asked my mom if she remembers it happening. She didn't though (probably since she had three kids under 8 when it happened and doesn't remember a lot from the 80s...)... Anyways, it has a great mix of humor and excitement and there were also a few tears. I highly recommend this movie! A

The Vow

" I vow to love you, and no matter what challenges might carry us apart, we will always find a way back to each other."

Directed by Michael Sucsy

2012

Viewed February 2012

This is a wonderfully sappy love story about love overcoming all odds, even memory loss. Paige and Leo are very happily married and decide that it's about time to start trying for a baby. On their way home one night they end up in a car accident and Paige is thrown from the car (Never unbuckle your seat belt even if its just to give your husband a kiss! You shouldn't be making out at every stop sign!) and ends up in a coma. When she comes to she can't remember anything about her time with Leo and doesn't even know who he is. She thinks that she is still engaged to someone else (who has a really fun time pissing Leo off by flirting with Paige) and she doesn't remember why she got so angry with her parents that she hadn't spoken to them in years. Leo goes out of his way to try and win Paige back and make her refall in love with him. This was a decent chick movie and apparantly it is based on a real story (there's even a picture of the real couple at the end!). I loved all of the sappy love quotes that were in it. I usually love Rachel McAdams who plays Paige, but I found her to be kind of a jerk. I understand that she lost her memory, but she is shown proof of her love for Leo and their marriage, yet she is so self absorbed that she doesn't even care how hurt Leo is about all of this, all she is thinking about is herself. I know it may have been weird or awkward not knowing him but knowing that you're supposed to be in love with him, but I felt like she could've been a little bit more compassionate. Her parents were very cookie cutter rigid rich people who think that Leo is a bottom feeder and therefore does everything in their power to keep Paige away from him, so that was really unoriginal. It did make for a good date movie though. B-